Whiskey Alexander


Lucky Old Cat
I may be older than your average cat
But lucky me you didn't care about that
'Cos I found myself through no fault of my own
In a rescue cage and so all alone.

So many people had passed me by
"Too old," they said "Not so cute, definitely shy"
But I'm not. I meowed in a plaintive tone...
Please give me a chance and take me home.

I groomed myself as a cat will do, closed my eyes
Would not look at you....Even ceased my plaintive cries
My future bleak, the days passed by, things decidedly looking grim
Then low and behold I heard you say "That one there - let me look at him"

Oh lucky for me you saw through that, the sad unhappy and lonely cat
You stopped to speak, kind and gentle words and even gave me a friendly pat
And without even thinking, from deep within a memory stirred
And next thing you knew I smooched a bit and I even purred.

Then wonder of wonders, "I'll take this one" I heard you say.
"He will suit me well - I need a cat not a kitten to share my day
My home's not a home without a cat and this old fellow will remedy that
Come on old chap let's take you home... a mature gent not a kitten brat.

So today I sit on a sunny sill, heart overflowing - (food bowl as well)
My life complete with all things cat, I own a master and too much to tell
Waiting - to greet with happy purrs my tail a-waving, head butts and such
I ponder the fortune that bought me here and bless the day fortune gave so much.

So when looking to add a cat to your home please offer your love to one past their prime
Please don't just consider a cute little kitten they too grow into cats in next to no time
Just a little food and a friendly pat, save an oldie and they'll reward you for that
With a life of affection, companionship too and the constant warmth of a cat on your mat.
By Heather

The Kitty Will
When humans die, they make a will
To leave their homes, and all they have to those they love.
I, too, would make a will, if I could write.
To some poor, wistful, lonely stray
I leave my happy home,
My dish, my cosy bed, my cushioned chair, my toy
The well-loved lap,
The gently stroking hand,
The loving voice,
The place I made in someone's heart,
The love, that at the last
Could help me to a peaceful, painless end
Held in loving arms.
If I should die
Oh! Do not say:
"No more a pet I'll have
To grieve me by it's loss."
Seek out some lonely, unloved cat
And give my place to him.
This is my legacy
The love I leave behind.
'Tis all I have to give.
Margaret Trowton

Ingrid's Haven – a poem by Cathy Soulsby

In our Shire, there is a Haven
For castoff cats, that need savin'
Run by Ingrid, a Swedish blonde,
Of ev'ry feline, she is fond

She rescues from the local pound
Moggies whose owners are not found
Has vet work done so they're all set
To make someone a loving pet

There's all colours from which to choose,
Some are shy, others love to schmooze,
Each patiently abides its time
And dreams about a home sublime

Allowed to breed by lazy man,
Cats don't have a birth control plan
Our governments must legislate
Or the tide will never abate

So if you need to fill a gap
And something soft to warm your lap,
Maybe it's a cat you're cravin'
Get along to Ingrid's Haven.

CUTE PICS with an important message

It was a dark and stormy night ...

They were together in the House ... Just the two of them.

It was a cold, dark, stormy night. The storm had come quickly and each time the thunder boomed he watched her jump.

She looked across the room and admired his strong appearance ....and wished that he would take her in his arms, comfort her and protect her from the storm.

She wanted that - more than anything.

Suddenly, with a pop, the power went out.

She screamed.

He raced to the sofa where she was cowering. He didn't hesitate to pull her into his arms.

He knew this was a forbidden union and expected her to pull back.

He was surprised when she didn't resist but instead clung to him.
The storm raged on …as did their growing passion.

And there came a moment when each knew that they had to be together.
They knew it was wrong.

Their families would never understand. So consumed were they in their passion that they heard no opening of doors

Just the faint click of a camera ...

Click here to see the image of forbidden passion...

Living with people:

an instruction manual for cats

Calling all cats! Finally, an instruction manual on how to deal with your human companion ... we realise these pointers are already well known by many of you, but here it is, in black and white (ginger and tortoiseshell).


Always accompany guests to the bathroom. It is not necessary to do anything. Just sit and stare.


Do not allow any closed doors in any room. To get the door open, stand on hind legs and hammer with forepaws. Once door is opened, it is not necessary to use it. After you have ordered an ’outside’ door opened, stand halfway in and halfway out and think about several things. This is particularity important during very cold weather, rain, snow or mosquito season.

Chairs and rugs

If you have to throw up, get to a chair quickly. If you cannot manage in time, get to an Oriental rug. If there is no Oriental rug, shag pile is good. When throwing up on the carpet, make sure you back up so it is as long as a human’s bare foot.


If one of your humans is engaged in some activity and the other is idle, stay with the busy one. This is called ’hampering’. Following are the rules for hampering: When supervising cooking, sit just behind the left heel of the cook. You cannot be seen and thereby stand a better chance of being stepped on and then picked up and comforted.

For book readers, get in close under the chin, between eyes and book – unless you can lie across the book itself.

When human is working at computer, jump up on desk, walk across keyboard, bat at mouse pointer on screen and then lay in human’s lap across arms, hampering typing in progress.


As often as possible, dart quickly and as close as possible in front of human, especially on stairs when they have something in their arms, in the dark, and when they first get up in the morning. This will help their co-ordination skills.


Always sleep on the human at night so he/she cannot move around.

Litter box

When using the litter box, be sure to kick as much litter out of the box as possible. Humans love the feel of kitty litter between their toes.


Every now and then, hide in a place where the humans cannot find you. Do not come out for three or four hours under any circumstances. This will cause the humans to panic (which they love) thinking that you have run away or are lost. Once you do come out, the humans will cover you with love and kisses and you probably will get a treat.

One last thought

Whenever possible, get close to a human, especially their face, turn around and present your bum to them. Humans love this so do it often. And don’t forget the guests.

Ingrid's Haven, PO Box PO Box 323, Broadford 3658 Victoria.
Call 0417 360 700.





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